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The Lost Kingdoms of Deviantia

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"My...my word, Professor! Could this be the lost map of Deviantia, the mystical empire of antiquity?"

"Hmm, yes...By God, I've been waiting 47 years for this day. I can feel in my bones that this is the map. And there's even a scroll detailing its geography! What luck! I shall read it aloud..."

A TREATISE ON THE VARIOUS KINGDOMS OF DEVIANTIA.

The centremost kingdom is the glorious Admin Island, where the kings and queens of other kingdoms congregate. Here dwells His Majesty Good King Spyed The First, Her Eminence Prime Minister Chix0r, and Captain of the Royal Army Realitysquared. Off the northwestern shore of Admin Island, nestled in the Golden Sea, lie the islands of Popularis, Dee Dee (believed to be named after some form of Acronym), Senioria, and Awardia. With the exception of Popularis, the inhabitants of Admin Island take direct control of governing these islands, deciding who shall leave and who shall be allowed entry.
Northeast of Admin Island is the Island of Larcenia, controlled by the brigands of rogues of Art Pirate Bay, and the simple-minded Tracelings of the mountain region. They are forever at war with Admin Island. The Adminers do have an ally in this region; The emotes, as well as their larger cousins the plzs of Cityplz, two strange tribes which can seem to take on any number of shapes, but are often limited to doing one action repeatedly. The military leaders on this island include :iconkillitwithfire:,:iconkillthatwithfire:, and :iconklinkplz:
South of these islands lies the Forum Archipelago, east of the Sea of Yakk. The Island of Complaints is the largest in the archipelago, and its inhabitants are savages of a most rowdy and raucous sort, an attitude that many believe has infected many of the other islands irrevocably by this point. Yet the archipelago retains the residence of several scholars of note, and continues to hold its title of being the best place in Deviantia to carry on intellgent conversations. Unlike the rest of Deviantia, which uses Pageviews as a general currency, the Forumese prefer to trade in Postcounts.
On the west side of the Sea of Yakk lie the cold mountains of Chatland in the south, home to a number of hardy inhabitants but paling in that regard to the Archipelago, or the Fields of News to the North. Many trading villages exist in the Fields, including the ancient city of Faq, a recommended stop for any first-time visitor to Deviantia. The Fields also host many lovely fairs and festivals, known by such names as "contests", "features", and "promotions." It also attracts Article traders from the Bay of Rants. To the North lies Merchants' Town, where the elite of Deviantia meet to buy and sell prints and comissions. West of the Fields lies the kingdom of Journalia, similar in governance to the Fields, but with a more democratic ideology that allows any person who wants to to promote or exhibit their wares, but does not guarantee that they'll be heard.
North of Journalia lies the Cameran Empire, whose denizens, the Photographers, are a strange people who spend most of their dies furtively stalking the landscape with strange devices known as "cameras" in hand, which can capture the image of anything they are pointed at. The dukedoms of Glamoura and Naturalia attract many visitors, and seem to have the blessing of Admin Island, but the more arcane areas of Fetishland and Mt. Macabre are not for the faint of heart.
Northeast of the Cameran empire lies the High Pageview Alliance, a group of many small kingdoms whose rulers have earned enough pageviews to not be subjected to the whims of Admin Island any longer. It is believed that one million is the minimal requirement for entry, but only those with four million or more can hope to become a major power on the continent. The ocean to the west is stupid and silly and I don't like talking about it, except to note that the vessel Search Function, the fastest in all Deviantia, patrols its waters often.
The Furry Forest, to the east, hosts millions of residents, but can be quite alarming to outsiders. The areas on the coast are fairly liberalized, professing their mere "fondness" for "funny animals", but residents of the deeper forest are religious fundamentalists who worship the "Lord of the Universe", a god called Yiff. The Book of Yiff is an ancient and arcane text, whose darker portions I will not utter here.
The city of Sonictown, ruled by hedghogs, is an important trading post between the Furries and the Great Anime Plains, another land that has its own unusual customs. Many of them pay tribute at the majestic Temple of Yaoi, to twin deities known as Seme and Uke. But much like the Furry Forest, many of these people profess no faith in Seme and Uke, but may in fact pay tribute to the mythical land where those gods came from, "Japan", by dressing in an odd way, eating unusual foods, and randomly inserting words such as "baka", and "desu" into everyday conversations. Still other denizens claim that they have journeyed to the plains to take part in a ceremony called "fan service."
Slightly less well-known is the Cartoon Coast, whose inhabitants profess to prefer "Western" cartoons, although what they are "west" of remains to be seen. Their religion, as opposed to distant gods, they emulate "enlightened individuals" who have been elevated to a "higher plane" of cartoondom. Depending on the region, the most admired enlightened one may be Walt Disney, Chuck Jones, Stan Lee, Jhonen Vazquez, or Butch Hartman. East of the mountains, and farther off the map, lies the land of Nogenre, whose inhabitants largely consist of refugees from the Anime Plains or the Furry Forest, who felt that their art could no longer simply fit under such restrictive conditions. They apply no such words to their art aside from minimal words such as "traditional", "digital", or "fantasy."
Across the Sea of St. Fella lie several unusual kingdoms, unusual in the fact that their creative energies are devoted to words, not picture. The least populated is the Literature Desert. But enough about that. The Poetry Forest can be a beautiful and airy place in certain places, but gets progressively darker and gloomier the closest it gets to the city of Emopolis, described as a "twisted hell of doubt and pain shrouded in an unceasing cloud of darkness." South of that city is Angstlund, where volcanoes and lightning strikes are known to occur at any moment. The daily conversation here ranges from politics to the foolish acts of another citizen, but is always angry and vitriolic.
The last scrap of land in Deviantia is one scantly mentioned among its citizens, for fear they shall become whisked away to it and trapped on its grey shores. It is the Island of LolB&, and few who travel there ever return. The lords of Admin Island are rumored to hold a mystical weapon called the Banhammer, which can send any Deviantian to LolB&, whatever they may be doing at the time. Rumors of this weapon's increasing power remain unconfirmed."


"My goodness!" Said the young aide. "Deviantia seems like a frightful place! I'm certainly glad I never lived there."

EDIT Well, what do you know? Second place!
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daydude101's avatar
I belong in the sea of ive-run-out-of-names. If you can convince me An Unlikely Archipelago is a good name, I would be happy.